Sophie Bretag has a title you rarely see in a C-suite: Chief Kindness Officer. She believes every business, large or small, needs people like her, who regard kindness not as a soft skill but as a strategic priority.
“I feel like everybody within an organisation can create more kindness and a more connected workplace,” she says confidently.
The advent of AI is forcing so-called human skills to the top of every hirer’s wishlist, and Bretag says kindness is one of the most powerful. In small and medium businesses, it shows up in two ways: through leaders being kind to their staff but also being kind to themselves.
The HR consultant and author of The Kind Way has turned the concept into a measurable framework, arguing kindness in a workplace drives performance and can be a catalyst for growth.
Kindness In A Workplace Is Not A Nice-To-Have
Bretag has worked in teams that advocate kindness and in others where it’s been notably absent. Her philosophy started forming after she emerged, exhausted, from the pandemic.
“I went through burnout after COVID working in aged care, and I saw really good people pushing themselves to beyond what was humanly possible,” she recalls. A cancer battle then forced her to reflect further on the way professional demands spilled over into personal lives.
With wellbeing in mind, she started to think about what constituted an engaging and productive workplace. “The core message was, ‘How can I bring more of the things that make people feel well and happy and connected at work?’”
The umbrella of ‘kindness’ was her answer. One of her most important tasks has been to define what it is. She is adamant that being kind is not the same as being nice.
“We pepper ‘nice’ into our conversations when we want to be complimentary,” she explains. “But niceness is just accepting the status quo, not standing up for anything that you think is important and just going with the flow.”
In contrast, there’s weight behind kindness. “I think that kindness is a strength because it’s about having courageous conversations, it’s about saying no, it’s about putting yourself first at times. So, there is quite a big difference between the two, I believe.”
Bretag’s faith in kindness is backed by a growing body of evidence. Studies have found companies with ‘prosocial‘ leaders enjoy lower turnover and reputational risk, while ‘managerial citizenship‘ is linked to higher profitability and growth. Being kind makes good business sense.
Leaders Must First Be Kind To Themselves
As a key feature of culture, Bretag says kindness must filter from the top down. She acknowledges that small and medium business owners may not feel they have the capacity for another responsibility, but argues overwhelm is often the result of people not being kind to themselves.
“From an HR perspective, if you look at leaders or business owners who are under pressure, they’re probably not taking care of themselves,” she points out. “They feel like they can’t take the time out because they’re being everything to everybody.” The resulting rudeness, anger or emotion ripples through the workforce.
Small or medium businesses have the added complication of likening team members to family. A hard conversation that’s in the best interests of the employee or the business may become too uncomfortable for a leader to hold.
For these leaders, she says, being kind to themselves is largely about boundaries. Even when an owner is central to their business, they must retain a degree of separation.
“Boundaries are a very strong part of being kind to ourselves and others,” she says. “Being able to say no, or being able to do things that make us feel good without as much guilt when we say no.”
She also says business owners should invest in their wellbeing, by devoting time to tasks or people that light them up, and cut themselves slack by acknowledging they don’t have all the answers.
“When we’re kind to ourselves, we build up a bit of a buffer from which we can hold space for others because we are well and grounded and making aligned choices,” she explains.
Kindness Can Drive Performance In Small Business
A self-confessed ‘HR data nerd,’ Bretag says she knew she would need metrics to convince some business leaders of her approach. “People say, ‘Isn’t kindness really fluffy? And how can we possibly measure what people are doing and why would it matter anyway?’”
Her response is a framework that scores organisations across four core pillars. Business owners can track day-to-day indicators, like missed lunch breaks and sick leave trends, via checklists before they compound into burnout.
“Kindness must be embedded into all of your business values,” she says. “Make sure they’re woven into the fabric: not just on the wall, but in your policies and procedures and the way in which you lead.”
Linked to measurement and central to kindness is role clarity. The kindest thing a leader can do for an employee, she believes, is ensure they understand exactly what is required of them. “If you are continuously changing the goalposts for your team or you’re not consistent in the way that you show up every day, then your team can be walking on eggshells, not understanding what’s expected. It can lead to frustration and resentment.”
She offers examples of ways kindness reveals itself in the workplace that go beyond smiling and holding the door for people, although she adds that gestures like these are important. It may be in listening to the answer and stopping for a chat when asking, ‘How are you?’ or it could be validating people by asking their opinions on how to solve problems.
She gives the opposite as an example of unkindness. “I’ve seen leaders where they have been more ‘My way or the highway’ and haven’t been able to hold space for the team around them or have the empathy and connection to understand their team and what they need. Unkindness comes in many forms,” she says.
Carve Out Time And Space For Kindness Each Day
Bretag has simple advice for any leader keen to up their kindness quotient. “Start with yourself,” she says. “The better you know yourself, the better you’re going to be able to show up and lead your teams from that place of knowing and alignment.”
For small and medium business owners, this is crucial. “You often are the business when you’re the business owner. So, the way in which you’re showing up will impact the way in which the people around you and your clients receive their service.”
She heeds this advice herself, being a small business owner as well as a mother, wife, and daughter of aging parents. She’s a believer in carving out quality time if quantity isn’t an option. “I am extremely intentional about having non-negotiables in my day, which is making sure I have some time in the morning or making sure I have some time in the evening,” she explains. “Sometimes, it doesn’t have to be about actually taking the break. It can be about bringing things intentionally into your daily life that will boost your wellbeing and your happiness.”
Boundaries can be set around time by bringing in fractional advisers or virtual assistants. Even an email signature that manages expectations about a response, promising to reply within 24 or 48 hours, can be an effective way to create breathing space.
“To small and medium-sized business owners and leaders in general, if there’s one thing I could give from an HR perspective is ‘who you are is how you lead,’” she says. “If you’re not taking care of yourself, then it’s something that you need to spend some time doing.”
